You’d think that as a self-declared shopaholic — borderline needing a support group — I would’ve replaced them ten times by now. But no.
Let me tell you about the oldest thing I’m wearing today — and no, it’s not my sarcasm or my sleep-deprived eye bags (though they have been around since at least 2014). It’s my trusty pair of black mom jeans. Cue the dramatic music.
These jeans? Bought in 2019, back when “Zoom” was still just a function on a camera and nobody used the phrase “in these uncertain times.” You remember that era, right? Back when we thought “mask” meant skincare and not a thing you panic about forgetting in your bag?
And yet, here they are. Still. Going. Strong.
You’d think that as a self-declared shopaholic — borderline needing a support group — I would’ve replaced them ten times by now. But no. These jeans? They’ve seen things. They’ve survived trends, TikToks, and my “I’m totally doing a closet cleanout today” lies. They’ve been rolled up, unrolled, paired with blazers, hoodies, heels, sneakers, questionable boots — once even flip-flops (I don’t wanna talk about it).
They still fit. They still flatter. They still make me feel like I could spontaneously start a ’90s girl band or at least yell at a coffee shop barista like I own the place à la Lorelai Gilmore:
“I need caffeine and a reason to justify still owning jeans older than my niece!”
And you know what? They deserve an award. Or at least a standing ovation from my closet. Because in a world where everything feels disposable — including my willpower during Zara sales — these jeans are my rock. My constant. My slightly faded but perfectly broken-in soulmate.
So, shout-out to my pre-pandemic pants for holding it together better than most of us did in 2020. We should all be a little more like them.
Let’s break down le look du jour because these jeans didn’t show up alone like some Cinderella story. No no — they brought the whole gang:
A black oversized sweatshirt, my khaki Vans with leopard print (because obviously I needed a wild side today) — comfy enough to run from responsibilities, stylish enough to pretend I’ve got my life together, Black hoop earrings — because nothing says “don’t mess with me, I’ve had two coffees and one emotional breakdown” like a solid pair of hoops, And finally, the pièce de résistance: my slicked-back braided hair — giving off “yes I’m fierce, yes I’m late, and yes I planned this” energy.
Basically, I look like I’m either about to:
a) drop my mixtape,
b) order an oat milk latte and threaten to start a podcast
or
c) start a fashion revolution in the school parking lot. (im a cool teacher. ok!??)
Moral of the story?
Some things are timeless: love, coffee… and my 2019 mom jeans. 🖤
As for today’s look? I basically showed up like I just left a rap concert to open a new Starbucks — and honestly, that was the plan. 😌
RETRO CHIC REVIVAL 