…the world doesn’t really reward people for being fully themselves,

I used to be more confident than I am now.

Not because life was easier, but because I didn’t think this much.

I acted how I wanted. I took up space without apologizing.

Now I’m surrounded by people who don’t feel like my people.

So I adjust. I soften. I act suitable.

And the more I do that, the more I feel yabancı to myself.

Somewhere along the way, I realized something that scared me:

the world doesn’t really reward people for being fully themselves.

So I started giving more energy to my relationships —

not always out of love, but out of fear of ending up alone.

Funny how you can be surrounded and still feel lonely.

I used to think I was someone everyone could like.

And that I would never have to change who I am to be accepted.

But I did change.

And not all of it was growth.

I started eating emotionally.

My body changed, and so did the way I looked at myself.

Not because other people said anything —

but because I stopped recognizing the girl in the mirror.

And when you don’t recognize yourself, confidence disappears quietly.

Time made me both softer and stronger.

I see everything now. I understand people more.

But I also trust less.

Awareness comes with walls.

I know I need to let go of my obsessions —

control, attachment, perfection.

I just haven’t learned how yet.

These days, a good life doesn’t look loud or impressive to me.

It looks like a rested mind.

Peace.

Silence without anxiety.

I don’t know how to get there anymore.

But I still believe in myself —

that one day, I’ll be able to get my shit together.